So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
