If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
