i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
