I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She bit a glass in half.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
