I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Come see our sink grown plant.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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