How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
