So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
