I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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