i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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