Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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