We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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