I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
