Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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