is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
