I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
