were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
