dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
