just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
