Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
