This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
