she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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