She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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