Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
How's work?
Spinning.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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