we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
