margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
