That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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