News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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