I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
