is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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