new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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