I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
