He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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