Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
