you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
