the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
