I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
