Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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