it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
