Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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