Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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