So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
