I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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