I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
