it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
