You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
