the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
