Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
