SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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