Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
