I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
