I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
