i barfeds in our rink
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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