there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
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