In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
