so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
When are your genitals available?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
