The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
