the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
