My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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