bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
