Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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