you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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