I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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