make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize