I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize