I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
