i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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