NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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